Push or Pull or Do Whatever the Shit You Want to Open the Door

 

I was sitting outside this coffee shop and reading something. I noticed the door and it said, “push for the best coffee.” So if I pull and open the door, I won’t get their best coffee? They would give me a bad coffee or something? I guess someone monitors how the customers are entering inside so that they would make best or bad coffee. May be they have CCTV camera to track these things. I noticed this guy, who works there, going in and out of the coffee shop frequently for some time. And he was not following the instruction. Either he hated his job or he didn’t give a fuck about the way the door opens or the instruction or he hated coffee. Some time later, I saw his buddy coming out of the shop and he wasn’t following the instruction either. I guess they both hated their jobs or didn’t give a fuck about the damn door, and I guess that’s why they were buddies. That was quite an instruction, though. What if a customer pull the door to open it and he/she would have to leave because he/she wouldn’t want a bad coffee. See, this can even make them go out of business. I saw two men approached the coffee shop and one of them pulled the door open, but the other guy stopped him and pushed it! I guess he badly wanted the best coffee. I wanted to sit there and take a statistic of how people enter the coffee shop but I got bored after a while and decided to write this.

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I am sure you have faced this push/pull dilemma. It’s everywhere — doors of restaurants, coffee shops, malls. Mostly I do the opposite of what it says. it’s not that I am illiterate or anything. it’s cleverly placed so that I couldn’t ignore it. I have to push/or pull to open the damn door. I know what push and pull means. But when I see this, I would be in a dilemma. What is it? Should I push when it says pull or should I push when it says pull. What would happen if I push instead of pull? Does the door break? Or they will might get offended or something? What is it? All these things would start growing my mind. And I stand there wondering what to do. Should I push or pull? I start sweating. My hands starts shivering, and my heart beats faster as if it wants to escape to avoid the embarrassment I am going to get. I know I need to push when I see push (Duh!). But I just can’t. I think of pull when I see push and I think I should pull when I see push. Fuck. It’s difficult than solving a physics problem (yes. I find it difficult to solve a difficult physics problem).

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I get over this by doing a mental exercise. I tell myself that push means push, and pull means pull. And sometimes I even push/pull a hypothetical door in front of me (I try to make it subtle, though). Besides making me look like a complete (or partial) idiot, it helps me to do the right thing ( 9 out of 10 times!).

After I enter inside, I wonder why I see this everywhere — Why it makes my life difficult. I want to see something like, “Do whatever you want to open the damn door”. Or something plain, like, ” just open the fucking door” or if they completely leave this door-opening-instruction, I would be happy, too.

But, yeah, next time, I am going to just open the damn door in whatever way I want.

P.S. This post has nothing to do with the coffee shop or the people who works there.

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